by WordExplain
A Potpourri of Biblical and Practical Perspectives
on a Variety of Topics . . .
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Applied
Theology by WordExplain A Potpourri of Biblical and Practical Perspectives on a Variety of Topics . . . |
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 |
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Q: Could you
recommend books or ways to talk to boys about sex, as well as learning
respect
for sexuality? A:
We haven’t found
it necessary to use books to explain sex to our children so I’m afraid
I don’t
know any to recommend but I’ll share how we deal with sex and sexuality
at
different ages: Ages
0 - 3
Allow them to point out body
parts on themselves, you and daddy and simply state what it is just as
you
would when they point out their nose or tummy.
They are just naturally curious about those parts of
anatomy just like
they’re curious about anything else. Ages
4 - 8
They
will begin making comments and asking questions.
“Wow, mommy, I don’t have those!” “Why
doesn’t baby Susie have a penis?”
Don’t
laugh (as hard as this is sometimes!) and also don’t make them feel bad
for
asking. He/she is
just coming to an age
of awareness and is noticing differences.
Remind them that this is something we talk about at
home with only mom
and dad to teach modesty and privacy.
This
is also the age when we started to have to answer questions about sex
itself,
“Mommy, how did the baby get in your tummy?”
Don’t panic! This
isn’t that hard
to answer! My mom
gave me the best
advice concerning this: Give
them the
simplest possible
answer to their question.
Answer truthfully and yet very vague and
simple so that you’re not giving them graphic details that they aren’t
yet
ready to hear. These
simple answers can
slowly progress as they get older and are ready for more information. This is also the age when
boys may notice
scantily-clothed women on the front cover of magazines in the check-out
aisle. Our boys
would draw my attention
to it with concern in their voice.
My
response was, “Oh, look how that lady is choosing to use her body. God doesn’t want us to
show our bodies like
that. And look at
her eyes. Does she
look like a happy, nice lady who
loves God? No. How sad.”
I don’t rebuke them for noticing, but take the
opportunity to show them
a healthy way to respond to it since that, sadly enough, is a part of
the world
they live in. Ages
9 –
12
These are the years for most of the details
about sex. Sadly,
kids nowadays hear
about sex much earlier than we did, so in order to have them learn
about it the
way you want them to, fathers should be ready to have “the talk” with
their
sons and mothers should do the same with their daughters. Be open to answer any
questions without
rebuke for curiosity. Be
calm and
explain clearly. Remember
to convey that
this topic is perfectly innocent to talk about with parents but not
with
friends or others and we don’t act inappropriately about it as we see
people in
the world doing. Another
issue at this
age is how siblings act with each other.
By this age, brothers and sisters should always be
covered, bathroom
door closed, not allowed to come into each other’s rooms when changing,
etc. Watch for any
inappropriate joking
with an opposite sex sibling concerning sexual things.
This could be very damaging to that sibling
and if it’s allowed with a sibling, it’ll happen outside of the home. Protect your children’s
purity and make sure
your home is a safe atmosphere of learning not inappropriate, dangerous
behavior.
I feel that “sex education” is a
process that starts when they’re little and becomes just a part of our
lives. It ought to
be treated with
modesty yet openness in the family so that when they become young
adults the
children will have the balance of being well-informed and yet
appropriate and
modest. October, 2007
Published by WordExplain.com Email Contact: parentingqa@yahoo.com Go to Parenting Q&A Index Page Go to
Applied Theology
Index Page Go to September, 2007 Parenting Q&A Go to November, 2007 Parenting Q&A About the Author: Christa Bartsch is a stay-at-home mom who lives in the Midwest. She has led seminar workshops for women on marriage and parenting. She has been happily married for twenty years and is the mother of five children. WordExplain by James T. Bartsch
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